Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
