haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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