i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize