She is in my trunk
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
