your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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