summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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