I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
