do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
