I faked an abortion last night.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
