I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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