Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
