found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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