matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize