You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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