I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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