Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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