DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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