dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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