I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
