im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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