Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
