You're so nebulous sometimes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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