so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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