is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
