just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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