I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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