I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So much rum. So many feels.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
