i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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