all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
