Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
