just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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