i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"