i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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