you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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