DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help