Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How drunk are you??

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm flawless.

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(860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo

Replies (8) Good night (2418) Bad night (759)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

(571): View more from Virginia

She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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(540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t

Replies (11) Good night (2986) Bad night (902)
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(209): View more from California

just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?

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(209): just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/nvmp

Replies (22) Good night (1750) Bad night (4871)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys

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(781): They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys http://tfl.nu/3nq8

Replies (33) Good night (4962) Bad night (915)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This house was built for laser tag.

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(336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag

Replies (14) Good night (9107) Bad night (799)
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(510): View more from California

I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

(415): View more from California

yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

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(510): I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk (415): yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts http://tfl.nu/5sxt

Replies (49) Good night (8568) Bad night (1381)
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(716): View more from New York

just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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(716): just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars. http://tfl.nu/fh2v

Replies (13) Good night (4527) Bad night (978)
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(440): View more from Ohio

my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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(440): my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement. http://tfl.nu/zd8a

Replies (16) Good night (5884) Bad night (1716)
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(903): View more from Texas

Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?

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(903): Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ? http://tfl.nu/d8rt

Replies (28) Good night (4571) Bad night (935)
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(585): View more from New York

The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

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(585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659

Replies (6) Good night (1327) Bad night (556)
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(845): View more from New York

You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital

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(845): You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital http://tfl.nu/w35x

Replies (7) Good night (879) Bad night (553)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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(815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4

Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (606)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.

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(318): I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America. http://tfl.nu/y2p1

Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (428)
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(315): View more from New York

Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...

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(315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive... http://tfl.nu/b7nd

Replies (9) Good night (968) Bad night (551)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.

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(717): We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex. http://tfl.nu/1as4

Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (254)

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