what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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