Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1812) Bad night (2617)
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  (310): View more from California

  I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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  (310): I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen. http://tfl.nu/puzs
  Replies (27) Good night (1131) Bad night (11266)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.

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  (636): Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often. http://tfl.nu/ixlv
  Replies (15) Good night (4672) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.

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  (847): Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals. http://tfl.nu/x5r2
  Replies (20) Good night (1164) Bad night (5600)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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  (267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54
  Replies (26) Good night (4875) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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  (406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez
  Replies (21) Good night (5531) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

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  (517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/qnhv
  Replies (20) Good night (2835) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday

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  (925): Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday http://tfl.nu/d2se
  Replies (10) Good night (725) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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  (616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5
  Replies (24) Good night (2776) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)

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  (240): You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right) http://tfl.nu/pdep
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.

  (310): View more from California

  Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?

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  (562): You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed. (310): Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon? http://tfl.nu/cki1
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad

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  (502): like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad http://tfl.nu/fybr
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.

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  (610): Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college. http://tfl.nu/99u6
  Replies (2) Good night (1397) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?

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  (503): I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again? http://tfl.nu/nuy1
  Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (446)

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