im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?