Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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