she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
