Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
