Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
