i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
