So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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