a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
