What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
