that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
