my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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