STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
