Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
