If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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