yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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