is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
