I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we're so committed to being not committed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
