Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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