he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
