yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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