sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
