Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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