so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
