belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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