Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
