Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
