fuck your aforementioned shoe
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
