apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
