well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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