today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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