She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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