the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
