dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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