what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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